“The Phone-Down Breath”
Whenever you send a message and the reply is slow to come, you put your phone down and take one slow breath, and you turn back to the next thing in your own day.
From Stop Fear of Abandonment“Delivered.”
says the small grey word under your message at 9:47 pm, and then nothing else, for a very long time
If you have ever spent an evening staring at that word, you will know every one of the minutes that follow.
Your partner is at a work dinner. It is a perfectly ordinary evening, and you can’t settle to anything.
The television is on, but you couldn’t say what you are watching. Every few minutes your hand goes to the phone on its own, and each time the screen is empty your stomach pulls a little tighter.
Why haven’t they answered? What did I do?
By half past ten you have sent a second message. By eleven, a third.
At twenty past eleven you send the one that makes you wince even as your thumb presses it: “Sorry, ignore me x.”
The room is so quiet you can hear the clock in the kitchen.
The worst part comes after the reply arrives.
At a quarter past midnight the phone finally buzzes. “Sorry! Phone died, at the bar with the team. Home soon x.”
Relief floods through you, and right behind it comes the shame. You scroll up and read your four messages in a row, and your face burns.
In the morning, over coffee, they say gently, “You okay? Lots of messages last night,” and they look a little tired.
They had a lovely evening with people they like. You spent it on the sofa holding a phone like a lifeline.
And the old sentence comes back, the one that has been there for as long as you can remember: everyone leaves in the end. You feel needy, too much, and frightened that one day you will push them away by holding on.
That morning, quietly, you decide it is time to do something about it.
When someone fears being left, there are only three ways to go
That steady light is what the rest of this page is about.
Most of the advice about this fear makes it worse.
“Just stop being so needy” is the classic, as if anyone chooses this. Then there is the dating advice that says play it cool, wait hours before you reply and make them chase you. And the quizzes online that tell you which attachment style you have, and then leave you there with a label and the same knot in your stomach.
None of it tells you what to do with your hands at 10:31 pm.
Psychologists who study security found a gentler way
When people bring to mind someone who cared for them, their mood lifts and their distress eases. Researchers call it security priming, and repeating it seems to build the effect over time.
Studies of couples found that seeking reassurance again and again went with lower trust the next day. Asking more, it turns out, tends to leave people feeling less sure.
Coming up with ordinary explanations for a worrying event, such as a phone that died or a dinner that ran late, is a standard technique that therapists teach.
And in couples’ daily lives, ordinary affectionate touch lifted both partners’ mood and their sense of closeness.
Put those findings next to each other and a different path appears.
Security can be built from the inside, one calm moment at a time.
Dr. Steve G. Jones has built that path into
three self-hypnosis tracks of steadying habits you rehearse while you are deeply relaxed, 12 of them shown on this page
Each habit is fixed to a moment you know far too well: a message sent, a slow reply, a partner going out, a quiet evening, the key in the door.
Together they work like an owner’s manual for feeling safe in love, the one you never got.
The calm you carry while they’re away, the courage to ask for what helps, and the closeness you let in when they come home.
Now picture the next work dinner
That morning, at a good moment, you said calmly, “A quick message when you get there helps me feel close to you.” They said, “Of course.”
The evening comes, you send one message, and the reply is slow.
This time you put the phone down, in the other room, and take one slow breath. You remind yourself that people are busy, and that a quiet phone is simply a quiet phone.
You run a bath and call your sister, which is what you planned for tonight. When the old fear flickers, you place a hand on your chest and say, “I am safe, and I am here for me.”
When the key turns in the door, you get up and greet them with a long, warm hug, long enough for you both to relax into it. And somewhere in that hug a small voice asks, “Where did THAT come from?”
The calm in that evening was practised long before it happened, in the quiet round room at the bottom of the lighthouse stair. On Stop Fear of Abandonment, Steve sums it up like this:
“You feel secure within yourself, and you are calm and steady whenever the people you love are away.”
Dr. Steve G. Jones, on the Stop Fear of Abandonment track
Storms come and go, ships come and go, and the light keeps shining.
The fear of being left has two close cousins.
Staying steady while they are away is the first part, and Stop Fear of Abandonment is made for it.
The first cousin is the fear of hearing no. Asking for what helps you feel close takes courage, and a “not tonight” can sound like “I’m leaving” to an anxious heart. Stop Fear of Rejection trains you to ask simply, with a warm smile, and to take a no as information about the moment.
The second cousin surprises people. Some who panic when their partner is away also find it hard to relax when that partner is right there beside them. Ultimate Intimacy Boost helps you be fully present in close moments, so that affection flows easily between you.
Steady alone, brave enough to ask, and close when you are together: the three tracks make what this page calls
The Lighthouse Methodafter the white lighthouse on the first track, standing on solid rock while the weather and the ships come and go
The name fits because a lighthouse has the same three gifts these tracks give you. It is steady on its own, it shines out without chasing anyone, and it is the light that guides people home.
Which brings all of this to you.
Nothing on these tracks asks you to put up with being treated badly
These tracks never promise that someone will stay, and nothing on them asks you to put up with being neglected or treated badly. The security they build is your own steady light, which keeps shining whatever anyone else does.
If the fear ever comes with thoughts of harming yourself, please contact a crisis line or a professional right away.
And as Steve says on the track, if the old fear ever feels too heavy to carry on your own, you talk with a counsellor or therapist and let them help you.
How can a recording make you feel safer?
By giving you a new rehearsal, every day. Each track begins with deep, comfortable relaxation. On Stop Fear of Abandonment you stand on the balcony at the top of a white lighthouse on a calm, sunny afternoon, with the sea sparkling and gulls overhead, and then you walk ten turns down a spiral stair to a quiet round room with thick stone walls.
Relaxed and safe in that room, you hear short, clear suggestions, with silences in which you see yourself carrying out each one.
Every suggestion pairs a moment with a response, the pattern researchers call an if-then plan, whenever this happens, I do that. So the empty screen after a sent message turns into your cue to put the phone down.
And every daily listen brings back that warm, cared-for feeling, which is exactly the repetition the research on security points to.
Are you ready to let a quiet phone be quiet?
Are you ready to ask for what helps you, calmly, once?
Are you ready to feel safe in your own company, and close when they come home?
If you have read this far, you already know how you feel about all three.
Dr. Steve G. Jones has practised clinical hypnotherapy and NLP since the 1980s, and he manages 22 training certification programs in hypnosis and NLP.
For a fear this old, the tracks had to be built three ways.
Here are 12 of the habits you rehearse with The Lighthouse Method
“The Quiet-Phone Rule”
An hour, and no reply. What does it mean? On this track you remind yourself that people are busy, and that a quiet phone is simply a quiet phone.
From Stop Fear of Abandonment“The One-And-Done Message”
You send one message, and then you let it be, and you let the reply come in its own good time. No second message, no third, no “Sorry, ignore me.”
From Stop Fear of Abandonment“The Good-Evening Plan”
Whenever someone you love goes away, for an evening or a trip, you plan something good for yourself. You may start quietly looking forward to evenings on your own.
From Stop Fear of Abandonment“The Cared-For Morning”
Each morning, before you reach for your phone, you place a hand on your chest, take one slow breath and bring back the warm feeling of a time you felt truly cared for.
From Stop Fear of Abandonment“The Good-Moment Ask”
When something matters to you, you say so calmly, at a good moment. Perhaps, “A quick message when you get there helps me feel close to you.” One calm ask says more than twenty anxious messages.
From Stop Fear of AbandonmentAnd so much more…
“The Information-Only No”
Whenever someone says no, you take it as information about timing and fit, and you say to yourself, “Well done. That was brave.”
From Stop Fear of Rejection“The Benefit-Of-The-Doubt Read”
Whenever someone seems quiet or busy, or a reply is short, you give them the benefit of the doubt, and you approach people expecting the best.
From Stop Fear of Rejection“The Long Hello Hug”
Hello and goodbye each get a proper hug, held long enough that both of your bodies let go and relax into it.
From Ultimate Intimacy Boost“The Passing-Touch”
Passing in the hallway or the kitchen becomes a moment of contact: a hand on the shoulder, a touch of the hand, a small sign that you are there. Expect the kitchen to become a warmer room.
From Ultimate Intimacy BoostThere isn’t room here for the friends and interests that keep your life full, the one small ask you make each day, or the way you let the busy day go when you come home…
“The Here-Now Return”
In a close moment, tomorrow’s list will try to butt in. You spot it, kindly, and come back to one simple sensation, right here.
From Ultimate Intimacy Boost“The Steady-Light Words”
the old fear flickers, a sinking feeling or a racing thought. You place a hand on your chest and say, “I am safe, and I am here for me.”
From Stop Fear of AbandonmentAnd who is Dr. Steve G. Jones?
Steve is a licensed Clinical Hypnotherapist who has practised clinical hypnotherapy and NLP since the 1980s. You won’t hear him tell you to “stop being needy” anywhere on these tracks.
He lost his mother at an early age and grew up with his father, who battled alcohol abuse. Later, after career detours and failed ventures, he was $80,000 in debt and living out of his office after being evicted from his own place. He found a way to reprogram his mind and put his life back on track, and he built the Dream Life Mastery Program from it.
Today he is President of the American Alliance of Hypnotists and the American Union of NLP, holds a Doctorate in Education from Georgia Southern University, and at one time had 30,000 students enrolled in his programs.
What listeners and well-known names say about Steve’s hypnosis programs
“I just listen and notice the change.”
I have been lucky enough to be able to listen to Steve Jones’ recordings for about 7 or 8 years. I have always believed in hypnosis and have found these recordings to be effective and very useful. I just listen and notice the change.
“among the best in the world”
Being someone who is extremely familiar with the power of hypnosis, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Clinical Hypnotherapist Steve G. Jones is among the best in the world.
“Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
I would highly recommend you and your site to anyone who is fed up with the way things are now, this minute, and want to open a new door to a new path. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
“No wonder Steve is the leader in hypnotherapy.”
WOW! No wonder Steve is the leader in hypnotherapy. How lucky are those who have had the benefit of his genius!
“far more than I’m able to describe here”
My appreciation for your work and the positive impact it’s made on my life is far more than I’m able to describe here. However, I’ve been inspired to live out my dreams and have actually taken real steps towards its realization in the past few months. Your Fan, Student & Friend.
Each person is speaking about Steve’s hypnosis work in general, not about this edition.
Can you feel how different that would be?
Feel your shoulders drop and your breath slow, with the phone lying face down in another room while you enjoy your own evening.
What would it be worth to let a reply come in its own good time?
What would it be worth to wave them off for a weekend away and look forward to your own plans?
What would it be worth to ask for what helps you once, calmly, and trust it was heard?
And what would it be worth to relax completely in their arms when they come home?
Most people live with this fear for decades.
They call it being “a worrier” or “just how I am.” The messages pile up, the reassurance never quite lasts, and the very people they are afraid of losing can grow tired of evenings that end like this one did.
Take a moment with that.
What is a fair price for a calm evening?
Each of these tracks is sold on its own at dreamlifetrack.com, so there is a real answer. Stop Fear of Abandonment is $29.95, Stop Fear of Rejection is $29.95 and Ultimate Intimacy Boost is $29.95.
Bought separately, that is $89.85.
The Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition brings the three into one order, for less than two and a half tracks would cost:
one payment of $69.95which saves you $19.90
Your order is backed by our 30-Day, No-Questions-Asked, 100% Satisfaction Guarantee.
How the three fit together
Steve suggests staying with one track for 21 days. Start with Stop Fear of Abandonment and build your steady light, then Stop Fear of Rejection for the courage to ask, then Ultimate Intimacy Boost for the warmth when you are together. The edition prices them as one plan, which is why the three cost less as a set.
They arrive as an instant download, so tonight can be the first calm evening.
And because feeling safe matters here more than anywhere…
You are covered for 30 days.
Order the Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition, download the tracks and listen every day. Use the phone-down breath, the good-moment ask and the long hello hug.
For a full 30 days you can change your mind. If you don’t feel 100% happy with your purchase in that time, email support and every penny is returned, so you won’t be left out of pocket.
30-Day Iron-Clad 100% Money-Back Guarantee
I want you to feel completely confident getting your copy of Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition. Just place your order, download the self-hypnosis audio track and listen to it every day. If at any time during the next 30 days you don't feel 100% happy with your purchase, I'll refund every penny, no questions asked. Just email support@dreamlifeprogram.com.
Dr. Steve G. Jones
Everything in the Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition
Track oneStop Fear of Abandonment
For calm while the people you love are away. A cared-for feeling each morning, one message and then letting it be, a plan for yourself, and a hand on your chest when the fear flickers, rehearsed in a white lighthouse above a calm sea.
Sold on its own for $29.95
Track twoStop Fear of Rejection
For asking and hearing no. A short routine before you ask, a no taken as information, credit for being brave and the benefit of the doubt for quiet people, rehearsed in a breezy spring park full of kites.
Sold on its own for $29.95
Track threeUltimate Intimacy Boost
For closeness when you are together. Long hugs, a passing touch, letting the day go when you come home and being fully present in close moments, rehearsed while floating in a warm mountain spring.
Sold on its own for $29.95
So here is what it all comes to.
| Stop Fear of Abandonment, sold on its own | $29.95 |
| Stop Fear of Rejection, sold on its own | $29.95 |
| Ultimate Intimacy Boost, sold on its own | $29.95 |
| The three bought separately at dreamlifetrack.com | $89.85 |
| The Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition | $69.95 |
Press the button and ClickBank takes your payment on its secure page. Then you download the tracks as MP3 files for your phone, tablet or computer, and all you need is headphones and somewhere comfortable.
You pay $69.95 once for the whole edition.
Picture a year of evenings apart that feel fine
You start each day with your hand on your chest and a warm, cared-for feeling.
They go out, and you have plans of your own: a friend, a hobby, a film you have been saving.
A slow reply is just a slow reply. You notice it, breathe, and go back to your book.
And when they walk back through the door, you are glad, relaxed and ready for a long hug, instead of exhausted from a night of worry.
The next work dinner can go one of two ways.
A lighthouse never chases a ship.
Have you ever noticed how a lighthouse works? It stands where it is, on solid rock, and shines. The ships find their own way home by it.
Security in love grows the same way, from a light that stays steady inside you, whatever the weather.
If the distance between tonight’s phone and that kind of calm feels too big, make it one small decision.
Switch the light on tonight, and let it keep shining.
P.S. You can’t be left stranded by this one. Listen for up to 30 days, and if you aren’t 100% happy, email support@dreamlifeprogram.com and every penny comes back, no questions asked.
P.P.S. Separately, the three tracks cost $29.95 each, $89.85 together. The Stop Fear of Abandonment Complete Edition gives you all three and all 12 habits on this page for $69.95, as an instant download, so the next slow reply could be the first one you meet with your phone face down.
“Yes! I’m ready to feel secure within myself, let a quiet phone be quiet and relax into closeness when they come home.”
